I’m the kind of person who stands in the back, observing everything that goes around me. I do not need to be in the spot light to be happy, yet I don’t like to be in the back where everything is dark and silent. I usually see more than others because I notice things people normally don’t pay attention to. I can learn so much about someone just by watching their actions and their expression. I guess in a way, you can say that I’m very perceptive. 

(Source: bbynicch3x, via its-an-infp-thing)

Welcome 2012. Going into this new year/season with a forward thinking outlook on life. I/we are in a different place this year than last. Settling into our own rhythm as first time homeowners in a smaller town 30 minutes from the city we both grew up in. We made this choice consciously….to have a “better life” away from the congestion & busy-ness of the “big city.”

It’s definitely a shift for both of us. C was used to being w/in a 10 min drive from work for awhile, and I was used to freeways, traffic, & the general rudeness that cities can offer.

But out here, our minds rest. Yes, we sacrifice some things….a shorter commute, lack of certain amenities, further from family, but there’s also a flip side. Open fields, minimal freeway driving, next to no congestion, & a more humble vibe. Babylon, is what C called the “old life.”

This is where we want to grow into our family & offer our little ones…a more pure environment.

Going into 2012 with a newly turned 1 year old, while 5 months pregnant, is very contemplative for me…as both a mother & a wife. What do I desire for the coming year for my husband & family? BALANCE. That’s what I need so I can be the best for them.

Without it, I get swallowed up in the daily grind & end up at a point where I’m overwhelmed emotionally, because I’ve failed to tend to my core & nourish my soul.

This has all been discussed during our fireside chats C & I have regularly…or are trying to more. We have worked it into our dreams/goals/plans for 2012, careful not to let things slide when it comes to my own self care. He wants this for me as much as I do. It’s a priority for “us.”

Being a wife is one thing….tending to the relationship, making sure it’s going in the right direction, meeting my husband’s (and my own) needs, while he does the same. But throw in motherhood & you have more bodies requiring more of you…it’s easy to feel depleted.

After taking some time to myself to be more self aware of what I want to take away with me this coming calendar year, I’ve ruminated over the word “balance,” and let myself soak it in…delving into what the term is going to represent for me, personally, over the next 12 months.

B: believe that things can always improve with dedicated time, desire, & attentiveness; breathe more (in with the good, out with the bad); be still more; bestow my gifts to my husband & children.

A: approach life from a new perspective (eyes & mind open to receiving); actively engage in all aspects of the day to day.

L: linger in the joyful moments; let others help where help is needed; let less bother me.

A: allow God to fill my heart with love even when I may not “feel” it in the moment.

N: narrow down my priorities; not get overwhelmed.

C: cast off negative thinking; center myself as much as possible; create, create, create; carefully choose what I allow to permeate my mind & heart.

E: embrace life in all its imperfections; enter into a mode focused on making this house a home & refuge for us.

It’s been awhile since I’ve put on paper something so in depth. Being in black & white will hopefully aide in solidifying this in my daily journey…at least as a reminder. I plan on printing this out & utilizing it as a sort of affirmation tool, so as to not lose sight of where I began this new year.